Waiting to die

Of latte, my cowboy boots have taken me through life with no purpose. I go to school and work. I do homework. I spend time with Seth (The only happiness I have lately). I do all that I am supposed to because of others. Why must others set standards for us? I want no expectations. It is why I flee. There have been many times lately that I have almost run. It is how I lived my life when I was younger. If I felt like there were expectations, bad blood, or just an odd feeling, I run. It has been many years since I have run to an extreme point, but my life of late makes me want to.
I go to classes that I feel waste my time. I do not want to waste my life and mind learning things that I do not care about, taking classes for a college degree that has nothing to do with what I want. I am tired of hearing others opinions in a class that have nothing to do with that class, they just speak to hear their own opinion. I want to go to that class and learn what I am supposed to and leave because I do not even want to be there to begin with.
During class just the other day, I almost ran. Once I do it once, all will be over, I will not return, I know me well enough to know that. You see, even though I want to, I am letting others influence me against an action, even when that is the reason for the action.
I feel as if all I am doing with my life is waiting to die. Not living. Waiting. Dreading each next day until the weekend when there is some reprieve, but not enough. I realize how fast that time goes, and then I am dreading again. Waiting.
This is my life of late, and I am so sad because of it.