My cowboy boots have not taken me anywhere near a horse of late. I could add to that by swapping of late for in months. Even then, my interaction with what was once my sole reason for living (Not exaggerated) was limited to a passing pat on the nose.
I miss the feeling of companionship and the bond that came with riding and caring for horses. It is the most magical occurrence I have ever experienced, the bond between horses and women. I know that this is true. There have been books, movies, articles, songs, and poems all dedicated to this bond, but I don't think that it has ever stood out to me so much as it does when I do not have it. It is like a hole in my heart, something perpetually missing.
I also miss riding and competing with a stable. Training with friends, competing with a group, and having someone to guide me through not only equestrian related obstacles, but life as well. During the times in my life like these, I always had a place to go and there was always a face, or a muzzle, to greet me.
I miss the smells, the sounds, the textures of that life. I miss the simplicity of who I was then. I miss the feeling of knowing exactly where I belong.
I am not a big believer in New Year Resolutions. I think that If you have something that you need resolved that you should do it without waiting for a new year, but maybe, since the time is right, I will make one. This year, maybe not this week or next week, but this year, my cowboy boots can carry me back to that life, to find that bond, to rediscover those feelings. Maybe it is just what I need to find myself.