A Look Inside

Last night, my cowboy boots, one again, took me to an unrestful night of sleeping in fits. This resulted in me awaking at 4 a.m. and thinking until now. I have many issues. Some that I am happy with and others that I completely dislike.

I show my emotions, so much so that I often make a fool of my self, but I like not feeling like I must mask my emotions. It's real.

I have very low self confidence. This I dislike. People in my life often tell me good things about myself. Last evening, someone that made a big difference in my life told me that I was a delightful person. This was a wonderful thing to hear, but I just can't see it. I long to, but I cannot. I try, but am unable to see myself in a good light. I want to see in myself what so many others say that they see in me.

I love strongly. I like this one, but it gets me into trouble. I care so much, and when I feel that others don't care as much for me, I become sad. I don't think that they care less, I think that I just care overmuch.

I know that the things that I think of are focused on me. Well, I believe that many people, due to other obligations, do not think of themselves enough. Not to a selfish point, but it is important to look inside at who you really are and how you really feel. Individuals need to spend time thinking about themselves, not about their superficial wants, but their true feelings. This is what I have been doing for a while now. It has taken me many weeks on my journey to self realization and I am not there yet, but I am trying. I think that I will be a better person if I know who I am. I will continue this journey until I feel comfortable that I know myself well enough to know my mind, my heart, and my feelings.